|John Steinbeck- The Moses of the Sausage of Pain.
||[11 Dec 2006|11:40am]
Ant is The Moses of the Spliff, and so he went forth to liberate the spliffs from the other room where they were being kept in a large pile by The Others, so they could be free (and be smoked by us).
Working with the added strength of God the Future behind him, Moses of the Spliff journeyed through the hallway to The Others, where he capured a spliff, and returned it to the promised land of Kyle's bedroom, where God the Future was waiting for him.
"Did you remember to cast pestulance on them?" asked God the Future.
But Moses had forgotten to cast wrath behind him, so he and God the Future planned to go and cast the plagues on The Others so everything would be cool again.
They made 4 plauge-signs altogether- pestulance, famine, war and plauge, and God the Future drew pictures of them under the words.
Moses of the Spliff and God the Future burst into the room to give out the signs-of-God they had made, only to discover that they had forgotten to plan how to do this.
So Moses calmly explained who they were and how they were there to give out these custom-made wraths-of-God of the Future-and-Moses.
Pestulance for Cathyrn
War for Nick (for he had originally been part of the plan, but had 'gone to the toilet' and bailed on them)
Plauge for Kyle
and Famine for Big Mike.
Sausage of Pain pretty much summed up the plight of Moses of the Spliff and God the Future, maybe John Steinbeck should write a book about it.
|A letter to the government...
||[15 Feb 2006|08:12pm]
15th February 2006
Dear the Government,
I think I'm addicted to acid. But I don't really think this is a bad thing. Why is acid illegal? Seriously, yeah, I mean I've been on the talk to frank website, and the only bad thing that could happen is you might have a bad trip. And that's it. If you drink too much alcohol though you'll die. Seriously, what the fuck? are you all stupid or something? I've never had a bad trip and I've eaten christ knows how many drugs.
When you're on acid, you don't want to fight, you don't really want to have sex, you want to do things cus they're funny. Acid would cut down on violence and teen pregnancy. Acid should be legal. No, mandatory. Think how good the country would be.
And ketamine too. That makes you infertile yeah, so it would solve the population problem. Also if you think pikeys are a problem, why don't you just sterilise them, then they won't be able to breed. Sorted.
Also, what is so wrong with parties? There is absolutely nothing wrong with having fun. We don't hurt people, all we want to do is dance and be happy. Do you just not listen to music? No you listen to Skazi don't you, no wonder the country is so wrong.
I really like the fact that you pay me £44.50 a week to do nothing. It is very nice of you. I'm using the money to save up for my own bottle.
Please can you re-instate Mark Oaten? He was really good. Just because he had sex with a man is no reason to make him quit. Do you pay him £44.50 a week to? If not that's rather mean as you made him have no money, and he is better than all of you put together.
Anyway, just thought I'd tell you that.
Lots of love,
Miss Emufairy Extraordinaire xxx
P.S I'm not as cool as Tim
|Chapter one- December 21st 2005
||[06 Jan 2006|08:51pm]
Light is really getting to me.
I reckon to turn the light off and look at the sky might be a really good idea. Apparently this is not the answer as light is dodgy. Maybe light would help up to acertain whether or not slightly weird as it feels like something is about to happen that just isn't. Perhaps the answer would be to eat some more acid.
Why is the prospect of making tea so daunting? On the one hand not knowing whether or not one is about to start tripping is annoying, but on the other hand taking more should make the trip have a more positive effect. I'm sure that wasn't the outcome that sentence was supposed to have. That's it- everyone knows it's silly to sit around in your house on a Wednesday night eating a lot of acid. Especially as I have to pay the pixie back for it.
"It's quarter past one, shall we eat some more?"
"I don't know."
"Well it feels like something is inevitable."
But unfortunatly I don't know what that is.
It does make you wonder as to what tone this book was set out to be , but now it's started it isn't particularly fussed to stop and think about it. A drop and a half? This is most unimpressive, so another drop more. this book is being written pretty rubbishly, but that's a point I will have to get back to later.
When you write a story does it have to make sense?
To write a book do you need to have charecters? Or something to say? How do you become attached anough to the journey to write about it, to make it go somewhere? Why are things only supposed to go fowards?
Time keeps going, what are you supposed to do if you don't know what to do with it? I can't believe I wrote a whole heap of questions, supposedly to make a point about something. You cannot make a point just by asking lots of questions surely? Or is this how we learn things. I need to stop writing questions and get to the... conclusion?
"I think there's something wrong with this acid."
And perhaps Dan is right.
Surely after a drop and a half we should be suffering a full on trip rather than an elated sense of anticipation.
Having now eaten two and a half drops I get the impression I might somewhat embark on an acid binge. Only I can't, ebcause it's Christmas on Sunday, how annoying. Well if Paul's eating mushrooms on Christmas day obviously I should join him in a festive trip.
I only wish I could get control of the lighting situation.
Please kids- make sure you've got something to do when you're tripping it's got to do something productive.
The problem with not knowing whether or not you're fucked enough is ignoring the temptation to do three and a half drops sitting in my room. To when did I get to acustomed to this idea that it's alright to eat a lot of acid? Am I mentioning the drug too much? I wish I had a story to be telling you all but unfortunatly I don't. The temptaion to do a third drop is strong, I don't understand why I cant. It is my house, my fairy and my decision. But all is very colourful.
And then it happened that three and a half drops were eaten, but the effects were quite confusing.
There has seriously got to be more to life than eating acid and just not doing very much and suddenly expecting life to be happening around the edges.
Stuff actually happens.
I don't think I understand.
The best thing about everything is there's nothing actually there
there is mere existance oh fuck.
and there is this
I think I've forgotten how to exist.
I don't think anything is real. I don't understand places. I can't figure out how I'm held together.
I can't remember anything that isn't this.
all time really is leadinf up to something. There is only fowards. you spend all your time waiting for stuff to happen. I would really like it to be Thursday morning.
why do I have stuff? nothing makes sense, should it/ I/ me be doing something? What do I do exactly?
I don't do anything except forget stuff.
What if you're not doing anything and you exist?
|15th-ish of Dec, at veggities
||[15 Dec 2005|12:19am]
|| damn transvestites
Do transvestites cause 'gender trouble' or reaffirm traditional concepts of femininity and masculinity?
Perhaps, we should begin by clarifying exactly what we mean by 'gender trouble' and perhaps this is too difficult a question to begin with. In a recent survey by Soulsby (2005) of the gay population of Brighton, it was discovered that one in seven gay men or bisexuals were also a transvestite. Addressing the question that we decided we weren't going to address first, of what was the question? However, more pressing concerns include how such a great amount of stuff can happen in such a short space of time. Time is a concept created by man, so if it were to be removed then lots of stuff could happen in a short space of time. It might enable us to write an essay in one night but we would destroy the world. Laughing as our fingers typed out destruction. So we wouldn't do that. Would transvestites be interested in discussing carpets? When compared to the apparent interest of men and women from the normal population, it was found that both women and transvestites were far more interested in carpets than men.
It is impossible to say anything bad about transvestites for fear of political incorrectness. So why would we write an essay about transvestites - who set this essay? - when they’re so nice? Or should that be if? When did they gain such power? If they’re not as powerful as they appear then they cannot be causing gender trouble. But maybe they are quite powerful and we should discuss this issue further.
More pertinent, perhaps, is the question of how an essay can be more important than music when music is everything? There is nothing more powerful and even transvestites can’t argue with that, but they’re trying. It seems logical; therefore, that music controls time.
It is no longer possible to use the word transvestite. So how to describe one? The dictionary says that there is no definition to one.
There is a reason why people do not laugh all the time*. It’s too hard to think of things to rhyme. “Did you have any fun? Tell me. What did you do?” (The Cat in the Hat, by Dr Seuss).
Back to the question of how to continue this essay without using the word which is no longer allowed to be used. This is difficult so reverting back to our other question of how an essay can be more important than music. It can substitute it if being read by a computerised voice. Logically, this leads us back to our discussion of time as a concept that one cannot have on one’s own. But two separate individuals cannot have the same perception of time. And so how can time be defined?
There is no reason to be prejudiced against transvestites just for the sake of something to write. That was all that the transvestites had an issue with in the first place. They deserve no more attention than short people, and are short people causing height problems? Maybe, if they all went around wearing high heels and pretending to be tall. Given that we are no longer afraid of transvestites, we cannot remember why we were afraid of them in the first place. So are transvestites causing trouble? Yes. They have caused SO much trouble.
*Laughing can seriously damage your health
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